 MissedOpportunity:how would you respond to a child who says 'f%^k off'
Time for a summary? I've reported a child to the police for verbal assault and the police pressure exerted was sufficient to get the child to agree to an 'alternative provision' that they had previously refused. The police became aware of the child and he did not return to school which was a very positive result for all the staff at the school and, I think, an appropriate result for the child.It all sounds so clinical and easy - doesn't it? I'm really concerned someone might think that. It's not. It's a horrible, messy process to go through. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. At all. In this thread I've been trying to pull apart and understand some of the issues here.First of all it is exceptionally difficult to get a conviction. This has partly to do with school not being a public place. You also need to be aware that you will need witnesses and substantial evidence. Pupil witnesses sound good in theory but beware - forced to face the reality that if they testify they will be getting someone they live near and are probably scared of convicted they may not be quite as honest as you would expect. Also, unlike Airy, I find that there is often a bit of a group culture, where some of the most difficult classes are quite protective of each other (violence happens but is explosive and linked to loss of control rather than planned) especially when high level authorities become involved, so they will simply clam up.Secondly, beware of cases taking ages to progress and both you and the child still being in school. They are going to hate you and they are going to be actively discrediting you. Think about how this will be managed.Thirdly, if you're at this stage you should be taking and following union advice.Fourthly, be careful of what you tell the police. They have to right to use whatever you say in whatever way they choose and this may not be an intelligent way. Fifthly, be absolutely sure you have exhausted all the systems at school. As well as the official systems you should have spoken to any staff who do have a reasonable relationship with the child to see if there are things you can do to settle things down. You can't expect any support from your school unless you've done these things. Sixthly, you will, effectively, be reporting to the police that school systems and procedures are failing. The people responsible for those systms aren't going to be pleased. So if your friend has done all these things and reporting the child to the police still seems to be the right thing to do, then do consider involving them. But get your personal support systems in place because it will be a very stressful process to go through. Oh and by the way when I say I was verbally assualted, it was the kind of situation where a year 11 follows you in to your office where you're on the phone (sitting down), slams the door, stands over you and shouts at you that he's going to f*****g kill you you f*****g c**t gypsy w***e and clearly means it (having recently assaulted another member of staff in a way which could have killed them and having recently done something similar to you with no action having been taken). I'm not trying to say if a child has just been swearing at a teach in an ordinary way that's okay, I'm just trying to give honest context as to why I found the police were keen to help. I'm talking openly about some of grim reality I've lived through because I hope doing so will help others in similar situations get their bearings. To your friend and to all who are dealing with things like this, I wish you a peaceful Christmas. I hope you get to spend some quality time with the people who you are going to need to rely on. Rebecca
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